Sitting With . . .

So already, I haven't published a blog post in six weeks. For sure, the last month has been my least creative and productive to date. I say this without apology, since I understand why. 

In terms of "what we are all experiencing," at least in the Northeast, there's been the abundant rain and humidity, the scant legislative movement toward progress and justice in Washington D.C., and the building thundercloud of the COVID-19 delta variant pandemic next wave. 

In terms of my own life, there have been any number of people who are mourning loved ones; tackling the steep, slow climb of recovery from serious medical setback; or learning to live with the difficult knowledge that the future will not include "getting better."

Van Gogh Chairs by David Hockney*

If I've gotten better at anything this month, it's been sitting with people experiencing the toughest of moments--just sitting there. June was my month of sadness, loneliness, and fruitless anxiety about what helpful things I could and should be doing to help my struggling loved ones navigate their heartbreak and physical challenge.

July's been different, in part because I've come to appreciate just how much people who are going through a lot need to rest. What motivates me right now, especially with those contending with physical illness or injury, is the thought that they might like waking from a much-needed nap to the sight of a caring familiar face.

These days, especially when I'm sitting with people who are unwell, I look at tomato plants or waterlilies or some magazine I've thought to put in my bag, and I've seen many episodes of The Golden Girls, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and other sitcoms from yesteryear that invariably affirm the importance of love, family, and friendship. Sometimes I tell stories, which I always make sure to finish, just in case the loved one I'm sitting with is listening with closed eyes, not sleeping. Sometimes I just sit there.

Most days, when I get home, I chop vegetables, clean hard-to-reach surfaces, and do more laundry. Sometimes, though, I just sit some more, or watch different television reruns. I don't seem to be able to do much else. 

Those of you who've been reading my blog over time know that during August, I often spend a lot of time sitting with my thoughts at the edge of the field in front of our cabin in Berlin, New York. I plan to do that again this summer. But sitting with people is very different than sitting with thoughts.

Each of us knows when we simply need to be right beside someone whom we love or care about deeply. For those of us who couldn't sit with loved ones during their most difficult moments when COVID-19 restrictions forbade it, the chance to do so now feels like a gift--a difficult gift, but a gift nonetheless.

* Hockney, D. (1998). Van Gogh Chair (white) [Signed Print]. MyArtBroker. MyArtBroker.
https://www.myartbroker.com/artist/david-hockney/van-gogh-chair-white-signed-print/. 

* Hockney, D. (1998). Van Gogh Chair (black) [Signed Print]. MyArtBroker. MyArtBroker.
https://www.myartbroker.com/artist/david-hockney/van-gogh-chair-black-signed-print/.